i've been thinking.
wait. sometimes when i see blog posts with too many words, i skim...or even skip them, so i understand if you'd like to move on. consider yourself warned. this is as deep as i get.
back to the thinking.
many of you know that elizabeth's gramma and grampa orr have been away for six months and will stay away for another year. they spent lots of time with her before they left and have seen her only once in the past six months....and they'll see her once more for a visit before they return home in october 2011. in the mean time, we live our lives and do our day-to-day stuff. we do church and go to the park and work and play and clean and eat and sleep and run errands. and we get sick and well again (not quite yet....crossing fingers) and all this stuff happens and time passes and we get older and our kids.....our kids grow up. they grow right up. and they change. and they don't ever go back to how they were. ever. and this happens whether we like it or not. and it happens whether our loved ones are here to watch it or not.
of course i know i'm not alone. lot's of us live away from our families. but i was just thinking about how i get to interact with my friends' kids on an almost daily basis. me. sara doud. i get to talk to and joke with and see them all the time....and WHO AM I TO THEM? just some lady, right? but i get access where maybe some of their closer loved ones don't. i get to watch them grow up every day. so i was just thinking that made me feel sort of special. because i get to watch your kids grow and change. and you're special too because you get to watch mine! my parents won't really ever know my daughter, the one-year-old, but you will.
greg's dad died before we met. and sometimes i meet people who've met greg's dad, and i get sort of jealous. here i am, greg's wife...and there they are, greg's neighbor or whatever....and they know about this chunk of greg's life to which i have no access. because they know a part of greg (via his father) i won't be seeing any time soon. there's so much history there. i'd just like to sit and watch greg's dad for ten minutes. watch them interact. i feel like i'd learn a few things.
anyways, i'm sure this is all hogwash and no big thing or whatever, but i've just been thinking a lot about it lately. about time and about change...and how you're plopped on this earth in motion and you can't stop it.
am i bonkers? maybe. sometimes the crazy female me breaks through the super-duper suave polished me for a bit. (<-----is joke) i'll be back to my old self tomorrow:)
I love the deep thinking side of you, and the girly girl as well. I think alot about this exact thing Sara which may not suprize you. Life is complex, wonderful, crazy, quick passing and wonderous all at the same time. Cherrish every moment, share of yourself as you do so wonderfully and most of all never lose sight of every little moment ever so small. I am so glad to know you. Joy
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking about this today - I heard a Dr. Laura segment where a lady was whining that her hubby's family didn't support her and call her when she was going through hard times. I then wondered if I was a crappy in-law and then realized that I was in some ways closer to my ward family than my actual family and I wished I lived in an idyllic pioneer world where families all lived by eachother - mind you it would be a pioneer world with deoderant, cell phones and tampons - I digress. Phew - what a run on sentence! I then thought about how lucky I am to have both - my family and the family we all create of those who are participants in our lives. Funny that my mind actually works when the world around my is quiet - although that only happens once a month so I make the most of it.
ReplyDeleteWhen we have something we cherish, something we know to be precious and unique, how natural to want to share our joy with those we love. The little moments, the funny gestures, their quirks.....all the little moments and big events we want everyone to appreciate. This child Elizabeth, the most superlative, wondrous,life changing gift that ever invades and holds captive our heart and mind, how can we let go of the happiness at each stage of growth/change?
ReplyDeleteYou are so perceptive to think about relationships and your part in other people's lives and their participation in your life. Isn't it sad that our immediate family due to distance either physically or emotionally are not the ones front and center in the day to day.
How caring to wonder about Greg's Dad! [It Will be important for Gregg to tell Elizabeth about Grandpa Doud]h
I can't begin to tell you how much joy and happiness your blog brings to my life each day. How grateful I am for your diligence in documenting the events of your life.....messy diapers, trips, birthdays etc. I feel included and aware of much. You dear daughter are a treasure chest, you just keep offering up nuggets of witt, wisdom and thought. What a gift you are in my life everyday. Thank you for openly and honestly voicing you thoughts and concerns.
Not a good thing for my pregnant self to read... I got all choked up dangit! Beautiful thoughts.
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